apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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