if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
