I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
