yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
