I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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