Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
