I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize