I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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