doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
