i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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