my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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