Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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