Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Shame - the story of my life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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