He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
