if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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