if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
