we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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