Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
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This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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