Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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