I bet he comes in French.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
