We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
