I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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