I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
