Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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