This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
