I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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