He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
