Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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