My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
