just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
