Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
