Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
