What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
