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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

  Fav 24 10003 1734

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"

  Fav 9 1793 6045

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

  Fav 57 1393 8107

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• (909): View more from California

  don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.

  Fav 13 1968 6335

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  Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

  Fav 13 6137 1488

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.

  Fav 6 2401 1262

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.

  Fav 7 2506 891

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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  23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

  Fav 4 1423 915

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• (831): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

  Fav 7 1457 910

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• (650): View more from California

  I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there

  Fav 5 961 584

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915

  Fav 3 333 586

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Why would you answer?

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