Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.

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  (727): What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette? (1-727): Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast. http://tfl.nu/lpfv
  Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (487)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.

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  (407): Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life. http://tfl.nu/q1vp
  Replies (38) Good night (4153) Bad night (651)
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  (714): View more from California

  drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.

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  (714): drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well. http://tfl.nu/2mtg
  Replies (26) Good night (8110) Bad night (1360)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3647) Bad night (821)
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  (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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  (213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae
  Replies (4) Good night (2127) Bad night (659)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

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  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (1054) Bad night (3682)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.

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  (248): They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends. http://tfl.nu/ovl3
  Replies (12) Good night (3667) Bad night (704)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.

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  (318): She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking. http://tfl.nu/r9ow
  Replies (7) Good night (679) Bad night (1904)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.

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  (618): His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark. http://tfl.nu/bjsg
  Replies (9) Good night (1133) Bad night (1296)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods

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  (419): Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods http://tfl.nu/bin2
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (380)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever

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  (217): my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever http://tfl.nu/bp5q
  Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (398)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?

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  (319): Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics? http://tfl.nu/v7hw
  Replies (3) Good night (1456) Bad night (375)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.

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  (216): I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right. http://tfl.nu/rt33
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (315)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.

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  (541): I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways. http://tfl.nu/pmkq
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (248)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.

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  (306): He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating. http://tfl.nu/hhgj
  Replies (4) Good night (832) Bad night (226)

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