i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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