ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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