Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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