I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
