Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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