Dual....:-)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
