Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
