We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
