I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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