I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
