He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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