Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
