I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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