I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
