I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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