Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have already put on my inside pants.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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