id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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