Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
