I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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